Sometimes you just need to vent...

I like to think that I have a pretty positive outlook on things most of the time. With everything going on with Madison, I try to keep a positive attitude & just trust in God's plan. But there are days like today, where I am just beyond frustrated and tired.

Don't get me wrong, I love being home with Madison. I know that it is the best thing for her right now, and she has done really well since I've been home with her. I pulled her out of daycare to limit the exposure she would have to germs & sickness. For about the last month though, she has been sick with a cold. For the normal child, a cold isn't a big deal. But for Madison, it means getting choked on her drainage and throwing up... a lot & often. So just to vent, if you are sick or have been around anyone that is sick (even a runny nose) - please don't get close to Madison. We have tried so hard to keep her well because she has enough issues going on without being sick on top of it.

Yesterday, she threw up in her car seat on the way to her ENT appointment at Vanderbilt. We had to pull over and change clothes & wipe down the car seat. Today, our rug has gotten thrown up not once, but twice. Oh, and she has thrown up in her crib. If you don't have a child with severe acid reflux, you have no idea how lucky you are. It makes me so frustrated that there are times she can't keep her food / milk down. Then I get upset with her... and that makes things worse. I feel so bad for getting mad at her because she is just a baby. She has no control over it, and I know she doesn't enjoy it either.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and I will get over having a pity party for myself. But like I said, sometimes you just need to vent.