I am so happy that she doesn't need it anymore & that it's out of her room... But as much as I was ready to get it out of the house, just having it there made me feel better if something happened where she needed it.
I finally have gotten to the point where I don't have to get up and check on her & physically watch her to make sure she's breathing. However, I do still wake up several times a night & listen to the baby monitor beside me to make sure I can hear her and she's ok. I know that everyone worries about their children, but until you have gone through a traumatic experience with your child, I don't know how much you can relate to what I'm about to say. (Without thinking I sound a little crazy). She has come so incredibly far, but I still have dreams that I go in to find her blue & not breathing. And sometimes I can't get her to wake up or start breathing. When those dreams do happen (and it's less frequently now), I do have to get up & give her a kiss. Going in to find your child not breathing, blue & unresponsive not just once, not twice, but 5 times is something I never want to go through again. Only through the grace of God & trusting in Him was I able to go through it before.
Madison (and all children) are a gift from God. They belong to Him, and He has entrusted Madison to Jake & I. We have endured several hard seasons with her, but we are in a good season right now. I'm so thankful & so glad to say goodbye to the oxygen. God is good all the time!
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