Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me;  Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You annoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

How amazing is it to read God's Word & to know you completely understand those aspects of God described in it? Not because you have heard it or read it, but because you have lived it.

Psalm 23 was the scripture we studied in Sunday School today. It is such an amazing, powerful Psalm. We read it several times in class this morning, and the whole class I was on the verge of tears. Finally, with my heart beating in my chest so hard I thought Jake could feel it with his arm around me, I spoke up. Of course I was about to speak about our situation with Madison & what we have gone through. I immediately start to tear up as I'm talking & get so overwhelmed with emotion I can't talk. It's one of those ugly face cries too... You know what I'm talking about. You want to speak, but when you try you can't get the words out. Full on ugly cry. Not a cry because I'm upset, angry, or sad. A cry because I was so overwhelmed by how awesome God - my Comforter, my Strength, the Ultimate Healer, Provider, Savior - is, and how He has total control.

This morning I woke up earlier then usual. I laid in the dark & just listened to the sweet sound of Madison breathing over the baby monitor. I laid there and just thanked God for the peace He has given me, and that I don't have to go in her room several times a night to watch her breathe. He is in control. What a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. It's amazing how when you let go & trust Him what can happen. Are things perfect? No. Do we still have struggles? All the time. However, the valleys and the dark times are so much more bearable when you have someone bearing the burden not only for you, but with you.

I have learned so much about myself in the 2 and a half years Madison has been on this earth. More importantly, I have learned so much about God. Living through these valleys & watching my daughter face the shadow of death had brought me so much closer to Him.

Thank you God for being with me through the dark times & the happy times. My circumstances change, and my emotions change during those circumstances, but You remain constant, steadfast, and ever-present. You are good all the time, and I thank you for lessons learned & the growth in my relationship with you. Amen.

Christmas Traditions

I will be the first to admit it... I'm feeling a little more like the Grinch right now concerning Christmas. Im not really sure why either. Maybe it's seeing Christmas & shopping commercials since early November... Maybe it's seeing how greedy & materialistic Christmas has gotten... We haven't even gotten our Christmas decorations up. The task of putting up a tree & decorations seems nearly impossible with a two-year old who is into everything & climbing on everything she can. I'm even debating whether to decorate our tree, and wondering how I can keep Madison from pulling it over on her.

With that being said, I really do love Christmas. I have great memories of Christmas & love that it's a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus. One of the things I remember about Christmas growing up were the plays we did at church. They were awesome (from what I renember 😃), and there were always some comical mishaps (like my brother riding on a plastic camel when he was a toddler). I also remember getting to open one present on Christmas Eve (pajamas) & reading the Christmas story out of the Bible (both which Jake & I have continued with Madison). My brothers & I would get up super early to take a sneak peek at what "Santa" brought us, trying to sneak across the squeaky spot in the wood floor so mom & dad wouldn't hear us. We would open presents Christmas morning, then go to Gigi's for breakfast. (Which we still do... Adult cousins, I think we should wear our PJs this year like we used to 😳)! That afternoon we would go to my Granny's for lunch.

I know Madison is still too little to remember Christmas, but I want it to be a magical time of year for her like it was for me. As she grows up I want her to look back on Christmas with fond memories. I want her to know the real reason for the season, and the joy that comes from giving to others. (Not just presents, but helping those in need, etc.) I can give my family the gift of joy & peace at Christmas, or I can ruin what should be one of the happiest times of the year. I resolve this year to have a fun, peaceful, joyful, Christ-filled season.

The Christnas traditions we do right now are to read the Christmas story from the Bible (Luke), and Madison opens one gift Christmas Eve (new Christmas PJs & a Christmas book). Some of the traditions I want to start this year are having a birthday cake for Jesus, going to a Christmas parade, going to Christmas plays, baking treats for those we want to show how much we appreciate & love them, watch a Christmas movie (or several), go to dinner & look at lights. Next year I would like to do an Advent calendar with Madison as well.

What are your Christmas traditions?