Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me;  Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You annoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

How amazing is it to read God's Word & to know you completely understand those aspects of God described in it? Not because you have heard it or read it, but because you have lived it.

Psalm 23 was the scripture we studied in Sunday School today. It is such an amazing, powerful Psalm. We read it several times in class this morning, and the whole class I was on the verge of tears. Finally, with my heart beating in my chest so hard I thought Jake could feel it with his arm around me, I spoke up. Of course I was about to speak about our situation with Madison & what we have gone through. I immediately start to tear up as I'm talking & get so overwhelmed with emotion I can't talk. It's one of those ugly face cries too... You know what I'm talking about. You want to speak, but when you try you can't get the words out. Full on ugly cry. Not a cry because I'm upset, angry, or sad. A cry because I was so overwhelmed by how awesome God - my Comforter, my Strength, the Ultimate Healer, Provider, Savior - is, and how He has total control.

This morning I woke up earlier then usual. I laid in the dark & just listened to the sweet sound of Madison breathing over the baby monitor. I laid there and just thanked God for the peace He has given me, and that I don't have to go in her room several times a night to watch her breathe. He is in control. What a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. It's amazing how when you let go & trust Him what can happen. Are things perfect? No. Do we still have struggles? All the time. However, the valleys and the dark times are so much more bearable when you have someone bearing the burden not only for you, but with you.

I have learned so much about myself in the 2 and a half years Madison has been on this earth. More importantly, I have learned so much about God. Living through these valleys & watching my daughter face the shadow of death had brought me so much closer to Him.

Thank you God for being with me through the dark times & the happy times. My circumstances change, and my emotions change during those circumstances, but You remain constant, steadfast, and ever-present. You are good all the time, and I thank you for lessons learned & the growth in my relationship with you. Amen.